I never said goodbye

children's gravesite - Maui
children's gravesite - Maui

When we give birth to our children it is such a time of joy and happiness.  We acknoweleddge those times of lack of sleep with a special love.  As babies we are up with them to feed and change them; then as youngsters we comfort them during those bad dreams and during the teen years we wait for them to get home from that special date.  Through it all we don't mind, because they are our kids and we love them.  The furthest thing from our minds is ever having to say goodbye to them forever. 


Yet, for too many parents this has been the case.  Only a few weeks ago a young man in our community lost his life while having a fun afternoon at a local swimming area.  It is an area that my own kids went to when they were teens. All I could think of as I read the comments on his mom's facebook page was how horrible it must be for this mom and the other family and friends  left behind. 


The late Joe Baylay once said, "Of all the deaths that of a child is most unnatural and hardest to bear." He did not underestimate the grief of parents. He added, "When a child dies, part of the parents is buried."  He and his family knew a child's death first hand for he had lost three children: one at eighteen days, after surgery: another at five years, with leukemia; the third at eighteen years, after a sledding accident complicated by mild hemophilia.


Unfortunately, death is no respecter of time, place, age or the family's wishes. A husband and father going to work is hit by a drunk driver, a baby who is put to sleep develops SIDS and is never to wake up to see his parents face again, or a
child who after being bullied feels there is no way out except to end it all.
In some cases when it comes you know in your mind it really is a blessing for the person who just passed, but your heart still says no, not yet. Or, it can come instantly when you least expect it and certainly aren't even a little prepared for it.  It has no respect for your feelings or how you are ever going to deal with it.  When it is so sudden you want to just to cry out “If you have to go, please give me just one more precious moment." I never even got to say good bye to you. The pain and sadness of losing someone is hard enough to deal with but when it is unexpected it feels so unbearable.

We that are left behind must believe that the person who has passed away is
at peace in the loving arms of our savior and is walking on streets of gold with no pain or struggles.  But what about us that are left here on earth, where is our peace?

When I think about this I think of what it must have been like for Mary, the
mother of Jesus. How she must have felt when she witnessed what they were doing to Jesus.  Can you imagine how devastating it must have been for her? It would have been the sights, sounds and smells of all that took place.  She witnessed her son humiliated, whipped, and then nailed to the cross with those spikes.   She heard people who had only a week earlier cheer him yell out - CRUSIFY HIM!  She would have heard the sound of the whip as he endured the lashes across his back and then the horrible sound of the hammer as it pounded the spikes into his hands and feet.  Oh the smell that lingered in the air, the sweat from the men who were forced to help Jesus carry the cross, the blood from the lashes and the crown of thorns and then the smell of death.  After he had died she finally was able to touch his lifeless body.  Yes, she knew he was the son of god but she had carried him in her womb, she had raised him, nurtured him as a child, she travelled with him and saw him as a teacher of the people and watched him perform miracles. He was Jesus the savior of mankind but he was also her first born son.  Mary did get one thing that we don't get though and that was the opportunity to once again see her son on this earth yet only to have to say goodbye again. 

There are no clear and simple answers to those questions of why our child had
to leave us now.  We have to remember that even though we don't understand it, God does not make mistakes and there is a reason even if we can't see it right now.  Psalm 139:16 tells us "Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  Then in Ecclesiastes 3 we read “there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens, a time to be born and a time to die."  

Take courage my friends who are mourning and hurting today because you are not alone.  Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD  your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you  with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing."

When the time comes for you to die, you need not be afraid, because death cannot separate you from God’s love.  ~ Charles Surgeon

Kathy Troccolli wrote a beautiful and powerful song after the death of her mother and I would like to share it with you. 

Click on this link to hear it http://youtu.be/b8q_7iVQF0w

The complete lyrics are posted below


Good Bye For Now - Kathy Trocolli


I can't believe that you're really gone now
Seems like it's all just a dream
How can it be that the world will go on
When something has died within me?

Leaves will turn, my heart will burn with colors of you
Snow will fall but I'll recall your warmth
Summer wind breathing in your memory
I'll miss you

But there will be a time when I'll see your face
And I'll hear your voice and there we will laugh again
And there will come a day when I'll hold you close
No more tears to cry 'cause we'll have forever
But I'll say goodbye for now

I can't imagine my life without you
You've held a place all your own
Just knowing you were beneath the same sky
Oh, what a joy I have known

On rainy days, in many ways, you'll water my heart
On starry nights I'll glimpse the light of your smile
Never far from my heart you'll stay with me
So I'll just wait

'Cause there will be a time when I'll see your face
And I'll hear your voice and there we will laugh again
And there will come a day when I'll hold you close
No more tears to cry 'cause we'll have forever
But I'll say goodbye for now

But there will be a time when I'll see that face
And I'll hear your voice and there we will laugh again
And there will come a day when I'll hold you close
No more tears to cry 'cause we'll have forever
But I'll say goodbye for now

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In this time of not knowing what is coming tomorrow we have to remember that God is still with us.

The news media and the governments keep telling us how bad it is and yes it is horrible but God is still with us

For more information or ordering "One Ordinary Woman; One Extraordinary God" you can go to the recourses page on this website